Dating in your 30s can be challenging, and here’s why! Topics like “when will you get married?” are becoming more and more common at Sunday’s conversation, and you completely freak out when you hear that. And this is even more often when you are in 30s. But another frustrating thing is to watch the people around you get hitched and have babies while you’re spending your Friday nights home alone or at the gym. There are few who will honestly admit what bothers them in relationship, especially when you find yourself in your 30s, because it assumes that you already know. Open your eyes, tune into your intuition, and make better choices when it comes to dating and relationships. You must know that dating in your 30s takes on a different tone, and that there will always be the real-life opportunity’s. So here are 15 expert tips for dating in your 30s that you must know:
Tips for dating in your 30s
1. Lying About Your Age
After 30, women begin to lie about their age for the first time, as well as some men also. Most of them do so because of the pressure of society that expects some things to be resolved in the 30’s. If a woman does not solve that, she may feel the need to protect her from subtle attacks, so she is lying about the age, or she is saying that she is younger than she actually is. Lying about age is not always to do with a negative experience in a person’s past. Though it is not a terrible lie, women should not be subject to such pressures, ie they should be proud of themselves and their years. Remember this, if a guy/girl likes you, he likes you for you, so do not leave the first bad impression. Always remember that honesty is the best policy and being the true version of you.
2. Now you Know Exactly What You Want
The older you are, your life experience is richer and you gain wisdom. This means that there will be less of failed relationships, because you already know very well what you want and with whom things can work and with whom not. You no longer indulge in relationships that have no future and you are aware of your wishes and needs. Your life and way of thinking are now much less flexible than they were when you were twenty years old. Now you know exactly what kind of person you are looking for and what quality he should possess to satisfy you.
3. Reviewing Things You Done in Life
Before filling up with 30, many women have a need to draw a line and add up everything done in life. This involves reviewing things from private life, but equally from business life also. The problem is that when we review our life, we usually focus on what we have not yet done, and lose sight of all that we have done. Do not let this happen to you. Also it is good to ask yourself: What did you learn, and how have you changed? Take a good look at what you’ve been doing, remind yourself of how much energy you’ve invested in it and be proud of your achievements. There’s still plenty of time to do a lot of things in life. Also to face your fears, you need to conquer them, don’t dismiss them. You’ve got to believe that tomorrow can be better than today.
4. Comparing With Others
One study has shown that people of age between 25 and 35 are looking for a deeper meaning in life. They seek stability in their lives, trying to perceive themselves and seek for inner peace. Another negative side effect of entering the 30’s is comparing yourself with others Many thoughts then revolve around the head of people: ‘My friend Ana already has a child of two years’,’ Mary has progressed up to the executive office in the bank ‘,’ My cousin who is old as I already bought the apartment himself.Such thoughts, psychologists say, do not lead anywhere. It’s never been a good to compare yourself with others because you do not even know how others made certain things. The only thing you can do is to make sure that you are better every day, but also to be grateful to everything you already have. It sounds like a cliché, but it’s true and a different way does not exist.
5. A Feeling of Regret for ‘missed’ life
Already at the end of the 20s, many people experience sadness and feelings of regret for life that does not seem to be exactly the way they imagined it. Women in the late 20s and early 30s find very difficult to experience a relationship failure. More precisely, they are very difficult to experience anything related to love affairs. A large number of people are dissatisfied with their job, their relationship, their free time etc… They seem to have missed opportunities and have not built life the way they wanted, and many of them feel completely as failures. Such a feeling of regret is destructive. It’s okay to sit and review your life, but be aware that you’ve done the best you could at that time. You are the source of your own happiness in life, but it does not depend entirely on you. The happiest people in the world are aware that they have given the best they could, even when things did not go out the way they wanted. Instead, focus on what is happening now and look where you are going next.
6. Be Open to Meeting New People
It might feel difficult to meet new people, let alone new single people, but you need to make the first step. A long time ago, in an age before the Internet, the only way to meet people was to leave your apartment and interact with humanity. Every healthy relationship I had was with the person I met in real life. But I do not say that meeting someone online is a bad thing. Being an “open person” can mean many different things, and all of them are positive. We know that open people tend to be more happy, charismatic, likable, and successful compared to people who are “closed off.” One of the features you need to have when you meet new people is to be honest. People often have the habits of lying and to tell everyone around. So try to avoid it. Dating technology such as mobile dating apps and online dating sites offer alternatives to meeting single people the traditional way. One of the ways to met someone in real life is to ask your friends and their partners if they know anyone that they could set you up with. Do not be ashamed, feel free to ask. And remember, be open to met new people in your life.
7. Don’t Waste Your Time
We all live busy lives, and when you are in 30s, you don’t have time to play games. So if you find yourself in situation that you don’t want to see someone again, you’ll tell them. People who are not in relationship fear that they don’t end whole life alone, those who are in relationship fear that this is not the right decision for them. Now that you are officially grown up, you may feel the need to quickly settle your life as people around you expect it. If you are not married and you have no children, it will likely catch you panic and you will try to quickly solve it. But there may be problems because such things can not be resolved quickly. If you have caught anxiety, first calm yourself down and work on yourself. Only when you are okay, you can bring your life to the order. So do not panic, you’re still young and you have enough time to make up for lost time.
8. Listen To Your Intuition
One of the most important things you need to do is to listen to your intuition, because it is the key when it comes to dating in your 30s. Our emotions really guide us, and this is happening all the time. I bet at some point, someone has told you to trust your gut instinct. Be honest with yourself. A lot of people try to make reasonable decisions by pushing emotions aside instead of using them. Emotions are always here to help us and guide us through our everyday decision making process, and this is especially true when it comes to relationships. But now, when you have already collected enough of dating and relationships experience, you can really listen to those signs and inner nudges so you don’t end up wasting more of your time and energy on people who bring you down. You’ve been through quite a bit so far and the relationships are not an unknown term. Experience is sometimes the best teacher, but it can also be an expensive thing. This is the advantage of years and experiences that you have in your 30s.
9. Let Your Guard Down
Try not to get too hyped about each new date and be yourself. If you’re in your 30s then it’s likely that you’ve spent some time being single. We all know by now that there is no need to rush into anything, but neither is it beneficial to stay in your comfort zone for fear of being hurt, especially in your 30s. When you choose to let your guard down with someone, it’s a special gift that you’re giving just to him, so do not be shy. Sometimes the walls you’ve put to protect yourself might be preventing you from finding true love. Remember to remind yourself to live in the moment. For us in our 30s, it’s perfectly natural to be cautious if you have had bad experiences in the past, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. Just through sharing such feelings you will begin the process of letting your guard down. One of the safest and easiest ways to develop intimacy with another person is through talking. Honestly, sometimes you just gotta say “screw it” and open up yourself.
10. Be open to dating someone who isn’t your type
If you find yourself sticking to the same type of person when you date, it may be time to break out of the habit that you have for a long time. Actually, there’s a lot to be said for dating outside of your type and it can be scary to break away from that pattern, trust me. In fact, if we find ourselves often dating the people who are emotionally unavailable, there’s a good chance that we are also unavailable. Also we need to understand that women as they get older they start to realize that the window that they have for reproduction is slowly but surely closing, therefore it is not the wisest decision to be picky with whom you would date. When you date outside of your type, at first it may feel like trial-and-error. Everyone of us has their dating comfort zone and that’s what slows us down. If you’re seeking a good and healthy relationship it will come soon enough, but you need to be open.
11. Dating Apps Can Be Useful
One of the questions that surely comes to your mind is: Is it possible to find true love on dating apps? While it may be ‘technically’ possible, dating apps (like Tinder, Bumble and Badoo) are slowly changing the dating culture, admit we or not. When we look at the big picture, in 2019, dating apps have become a way of life for many singles. Anyone can see why, because we are in the internet age. And if you haven’t yet jumped on board the dating app train, there’s no better time than now to get started, especially if you are in your 30s. Without a doubt, dating in 2019 is an art form. If you want to try it out, do not be afraid. While there is no official handbook or rule guide, most dating apps operate more or less the same way. Try and see if you are a person for this. If you are not, then you have to use the old classic way to find your love.
12. You’ll want to know right away if it’s going anywhere
So, how to find out quickly is this going anywhere? When you’re in a relationship, wanting to be your partner’s priority isn’t a bad thing at all. After all, if someone is important, you will do your best to keep them in your life and show them how much you value them. One of these factors as you know is communication, and it is important for relationships to work. If you find yourself in a position where your partner doesn’t make the effort to communicate with you throughout the day or even the week, that’s one of the signs they’re not making time for you. If you do not do something, you’re not going to get that long-term, romantic relationship you want. One of the famous quotes is: “Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.”And for the end, instead of allowing someone to treat you like an option, give your time to someone who will treat you like a priority.
13. Focus on Having Fun
By this I mean that you focus on having fun with a person you are dating. You’re in your 30s and you don’t have much time for goofing around with no purpose. Another thing that is important in your 30s, is that you do not have much time for making a lot of mistakes. No matter how much you love your partner and no matter how great you think your relationship is, it can sometimes feel a little boring, especially in early stages of dating. So if you find yourself in such situation while you’re in relationship, you need a little boost of fun. One of the ways is to surprise each other, which is an easy way to make things feel more fun. Also one of the quotes about this is: “Couples who stop flirting are couples who stop anticipating”. And if you really feel stuck in a rut, don’t be afraid to change your scenery. But remember, relationships should not be a constant rollercoaster and you should definitely enjoy some quiet moments with your partner.
14. Talk to see if you have Common Goals
We can safely say that goals of modern relationships are quite different than those of the past. Today are different values that people look and so they are faced with different challenges. When we enter into the relationship, it feels like the intoxicating fuel of infatuation will power the relationship forever. But over time, that fuel is slowly empties, and we can feel how our relationship weakens. I believe that happiness comes from moving toward what you want, not necessarily getting it. From that reason couples need to have goals that they are moving toward to be happy. Also one of the answers is to understand the stages of a relationship and setting mutual couple goals. Most common relationship goals today are trust, unconditional love and being committed to a future together. This things will help you find happiness and stability in your relationship.
15. Talk Openly and Honestly About Sex
Talking about sex is hard, but telling the person you love and with whom you are in relationship that you’re not happy with your sex life is even harder. It is confirmed that a majority of relationships today are in distress because of financial reasons, but problems with sex and sexuality rank are also high. So when Is the right time to talk about sex problems? What I can tell you is that you do not talk about sexual problems in your bedroom or at bedtime. Also you need to realize that you may have to have a few conversations and not just one long conversation. My advice is that you talk about your expectations, your fears, your desires, and to be honest! It has been said that “Good lovers are made, not born”, and I completely agree with that. So to have a special relationship, you need to have a healthy sex life which is a great gift and a gift to be enjoyed.
When we talk about dating in your 30s, we’ve come to a conclusion that we need to understand two main things: Dating in your 30s as a man and dating in your 30s as a woman can be a different experience. Also, when you’re at school or university, you have the feeling that dating is the major thing and that it’s on everyone’s minds. But dating in your 30s can be challenging, especially when you look at all your friends who are settling down. Usually by the time people get into their 30s and sometimes even in their late 20s, they start thinking about settling down, getting married and having a few kids. The main advantage at this stage in life is that people know what they want in a partner. Know what you want can be a very important thing, because you will not waste your time anymore on some things that have taken your time in the past. It is also helpful to remember that age is a just a number. Going in with an open mind gives you the greatest chance of meeting a great partner. Another important factor that we need to know is that love is not an exact science and sometimes the person you least expect steals your heart!
– How To Find a Date In Your 30s
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