Do you want to start dating in middle school? Well, that’s the question that many young people ask themselves. If you’re not sure if you’re ready for a middle school relationship then I will try to help you to look at some of the pros and cons of middle school dating and whether it makes sense to get a boyfriend or girlfriend in the 6th, 7th or 8th grade. I think the idea of whether or not you should date in middle school is very pressing question for people who are in middle school. I have come to realize there are good and bad things about being in a middle school relationship. So let’s tackle it.
Speaking from my own personal experience, I didn’t really start dating someone until I was in high school. When I was in middle school, there were girls that I liked and talked to, but I never really started going out with anyone. I think there are a few things you have to look at when it comes to dating someone in middle school, but one of the biggest ones is; is it gonna interfere with your schoolwork? And now you’re probably brushing it off thinking, yes it’s not gonna interfere with my schoolwork. But you really have to think about that and ask yourself, will you have the time to dedicate to someone else and be able to manage all your schoolwork?
The Pros for Dating in Middle School
1. Getting to Understand Relationship
Teens can learn how to better treat and interact with the opposite gender. They can learn what their strengths and weaknesses are when it comes to any type of relationship. You can learn how to date, which will be an invaluable experience for later in life. This will also help you in the way because dating will more likely be easier. In this case experience is something most valuable you can get. I consider this to be a big plus.
2. Maturation
Teens may mature into a more socially competent, experienced, and functional adults. One of the benefits of this is that spending time with a boyfriend or girlfriend is fun. Also having a girlfriend or boyfriend makes you feel older and cooler which also encourages you to think differently. Sometimes maturation can be a tricky thing, but it’s a part that must be passed sooner or later in your life.
3. Self-discovery and Behaviour
Dating could help them determine what they like about it and what activities they like doing when accompanied by another person. A study was performed at the University of Texas and researchers found that teens who had a girlfriend or boyfriend were less likely to engage in delinquent or dangerous behaviours when compared to teens without a partner. This can be useful because it stimulates creativity in that age.
The Cons for Dating in High School
1. Abuse
About one in three middle school students have been or will be involved in an abusive relationship. It is true that this thing depends on school to school but sometimes couples in middle school can be found under the influence of a group of boys or girls who will make fun of them. If you are not a strong psychic person (and it is very difficult to be at that age) it can break you, and it will affect your grades in school.
2. Too Far
By age 13, only 11% of teens have ever had sex. However, by the time they reach age 17, 6 of 10 teens have engaged in sexual intercourse. Boys sometimes demand from a girlfriend to have sex although they are not ready at that age because their environment imposes them. I do not think that in those years, neither party is mature or able to enter sexual relations, but it is difficult to forbid if you are already in the relationship. This is certainly one of the harder questions that have no solution.
3. The Breakup
The main thing that teens tend to remember about their relationship is the breakup. Teens can leave a relationship feeling so bad that they isolate themselves and have thoughts of suicide. You can’t control feelings, especially in teenage age when they are very pronounced and know how to put people into depression. When you are already in the process of the breakup, it is best to turn to someone who has passed through it like your parents or older brother/sister and to advise you how to deal with it.
4. A Lot of Obligations
There’s going to be times where you’re gonna have lots of homework, and tests to study for, and things to do, and you probably won’t have all the free time that you want to talk to that person you’ll be dating. Not to mention, if you do any kind of after school activities like play sports, you’re in a band, or you just do something after school that you won’t be able to have that free time for. Being in a middle school relationship is probably gonna require you to talk to that person every single day, whether it’s in school, on Snapchat, or Instagram.
5. The Opinion of Others
So if you don’t think you’re gonna have the free time to be able to communicate with them regularly, then I would probably avoid it for now. Another factor that can really influence whether or not you should be dating in middle school is what your friends are doing or the people around you. Are they already dating? And if they are, that might cause you to feel a pressure to do it too. I’ve gotten a ton of messages from middle schoolers telling me: “hey, my friend’s already dating, should I be dating?” Everyone needs to be comparable to someone else. And no one ever wants to feel like they’re the oddball left out and they’re the only one who can’t get someone to date.
Conclusion:
As you could see, there are more Cons for dating in middle school than Pros. Teens should make most of the decisions in a relationship, parents should be there to instruct, guide and mentor the teenagers into making wise dating decisions. If the parents make most of the decisions for the teen, the teen may turn to rebellion and secrecy therefore forcing the parents to then „lock-down“ the child or never know about the relationship. However, if the parents let the teenage feel in control they will be less likely to rebel or do things wrong out of spite. My advice is to try to avoid the relationships in middle school and enjoy your life in your spontaneous way. There will be time for the relationships afterwards. If you are interested how Dating in High School works, you can read it HERE.
How to Deal With Relationship at School
While it may seem cool to have you and all your friends have girlfriends, if you’re the only one who doesn’t have a girlfriend, don’t allow people to make fun of you for it. It’s totally okay to not date someone in middle school. You shouldn’t have to be subjected to peer pressure like that. If you’re a guy in middle school, people might take to the insult to call you gay and say that you can’t even get a girlfriend. Don’t listen to anyone. People are just trying to get inside your head to mess with you. You know what you want and what is the best for you. Follow that! And if you’re a girl that’s not dating anyone, people might tend to call you a prude and say: “look, she can’t even get a guy, or she’s too nervous or scared to get a guy”. Same advice there, don’t listen to people. People are just gonna try to rattle you up. Do what’s best for you, and you know what that is. Now all of this is not to say that it’s wrong, or that you shouldn’t be dating in middle school.
Are There Benefits in Dating in Middle School?
If you wanna date someone, go right ahead because there are a lot of benefits to dating someone in middle school. First and foremost, you have someone to talk to, someone to open up to, and someone to connect with. Yes, you probably have your friends, but having a boyfriend or girlfriend here can be a little different. You can probably share things with them that you maybe don’t wanna share or you don’t feel comfortable sharing with your friends. I know a lot of middle school relationships don’t really get that deep. But see this as an opportunity to connect with someone, to learn more about them, and to share things about yourself as well. I know there’s a lot of you out there that are dating someone, but you probably never spend time with them ‘cause they’re always with their friends, and you’ve probably never talked to them ‘cause you’re too shy to do it. I know it’s scary and it’s easier said than done, but it is possible. If you do want to start dating in middle school, don’t allow fear to be the thing that holds you back. You can overcome that. How to date in High School I described HERE.
How To Know If a Girl Likes You at Middle School?
Number one is the voice change. Everyone has 2 different minds, their conscious and their subconscious. Subconscious mind affects things like your mood and your memory and one of the most subtle areas it can influence is the tone of your voice. When a guy likes a girl, his tone of voice will get much deeper when he’s around her. He’s trying to sound strong and tough. Complete opposite is true for girls. So observe the tone of her voice because it will show the truth of her subconscious mind. Also observe how her friends act around you. Ask about her celebrity crush, see if she laughs at the things you say. If a girl is laughing and smiling about things you say that aren’t even that funny she probably likes you.
Learn More
If you are interested in learning more about dating, then consider checking out this book about dating on Amazon.