Can relationship “survive” the cheating and after that, how soon does it change your relationship? Many of us just can’t forgive unbelief, but there are people who will try to save the relationship or marriage after partner’s adultery. But does that make sense, is it just delaying the inevitable or there is something in it? I found myself in this situation, and I have researched the answer to this question in detail.
How Do You Fix a Relationship After Cheating? Forgiving process is long and difficult and both partners need to do a lot to save the relationship. Every healthy relationship is based on trust, so things will go back to the old only when trust is restored. Love for a partner is one of the best reasons to forgive and only way to save relationship.
Even when both partners want it, can it be forgiven and how? How do you love someone again with the same passion and the same fervour, when we know that the one we love was ready to put all of that to the stake? Experts in love relationships say that the biggest chance that relationship can survive after affair is if that happened only through the lack of sex. One who cheated on that third side did not feel emotions, but everything was just a question of passion and sexual energy.
That is what experts say, although it does not look like that, it can sometimes save the relationship. Anyway, whatever the motive and no matter who cheated, it’s hard to forgive. Betrayal is pain, as well as betrayed expectations, shaken confidence, knowing that somebody we love has rejected this for somebody else. There are feelings of anger, disgust, insanity, despair and fear. The whole world can fall down in seconds. Also, close related topic about “How to Fix Most Common Problems in Relationship” you can find HERE.
2 Things That Can Save Your Relationship After Cheating
Many people can’t forgive cheating, but there are people who will try to save relationship or marriage after partner’s affair.
Rejection of the role of “perpetrator” and “victim”. When an adultery occurs, a person who has committed it automatically gets the role of a “perpetrator”, and a defrauded person acts as a “victim”. This is a completely normal relationship dynamics, especially if you have decided to terminate the relationship because of adultery. However, if you want to save your relationship regardless of the affair, then you should refrain from such a division of the role as it will not do anything good in the long run. It is natural to have a desire to reproach after a partner cheat on us, but as soon as we decide to try to forgive adultery, constant reproach makes it more difficult. Focus should be on finding the cause of adultery and attempting to establish a relationship built with trust.
Willingness of an Adulterer to Talk Openly About Adultery. First of all, talking about how far is the other side hurt by an adulterous affair. Adulterer has to face the pain and anger he caused. Injured person helps to get rid of negative emotions and adulterate to express guilt and regret for cheating.
Is There Love After an Affair?
Some scientific research has shown that in every five marriage fraud occurs, while others say that fraud occurs in as many as 50% of all relationships. No matter if any of these data was more accurate – the percentages are certainly alarming. Experiences say that cheating is one of the worst things that can happen in the relationship above all. It is necessary to happen only once – both partners, especially the cheated partner, will long feel pain and all the consequences of affair. So the next question is how to rebuild and restore love again, and can our Love save the relationship? Also, Dating a Married Man can’t work, and I wrote article about that HERE.
How to Rebuild a Relationship After Cheating?
It is said that you can repair a broken vase, but glue will always be seen. It may be true for glass or ceramics, but the relationships are something else. It is true that when affair happens, you can’t expect things to return to “normal” overnight, but many couples have managed to overcome this problem. Overcome all the pains of cheating and continue happily with their common life.
1. Review your feelings and needs.
If partner cheated on you, it is important that you first take care of yourself and your emotions to recover from the pain you feel. This can mean the time you will spend separately from your partner (daily activities and interactions, visiting a family or a short solo trip), setting the boundaries to each other or whatever you already need to cool your head and re-arrange it so you can try to get back to normal. If you were the one who cheated you need to re-examine yourself and your feelings. Do not run away from your mistakes, but be brave to face them and be available to your partner.
2. Enter the Core of the Problem.
Talking about your partner’s affairs or telling you why you cheat is not easy, but that’s the only way. You see, I think most of my failed relationships failed because I put the problems “sweep under the carpet” and pretend that everything is all right. Definitely a simpler way, but it only leads to further and bigger problems. Try to find out about problems and find solutions to them. Only then can you start over again.
3. Forgive, Seek Forgiveness And go Forward.
Your partner cheated you, you’ve been talking a lot about it and decided to move on and try to keep that relationship. Congratulations on giving people a another chance and want to stay in relationship, but the jealousy and the lack of trust in the future will be a big problem. So make sure that after you forgive your partner and you both learn a lesson, you look at this ugly “episode” in your relationship as part of the past, and not that you are constantly overthrown his mistake in the face. Your partner should help you by working hard to restore your trust, and you should be open to his efforts. So do not let it go too fast, but also do not use this mistake as an excuse for your jealousy, insults, or to keep it “flowing under his nose”.
4. Re-ignite the Flame of Old Love.
Think of past times, good times, and things that have merged and amplified you as a couple, so try again to experience those moments. Start going out together again – at dinners, at the cinema, on camping, hiking or whatever you already enjoy. One of the most common reasons for cheating is the feeling of monotony and routines. If you do not want to go back to the old one – start all over again. Do something you’ve never done been before and give yourself a chance to fall in love again.
Does Only Love Saves Relationship ?
Experience has also shown that people who stayed together after the affair primarily because they love each other. Their love often after cheating become even stronger and stronger. Infidelity and experience with someone else has only shown them how much worth they have at „home“. In a way, they made their feelings and desires even higher, and without unimaginable problems they continued to build the most valuable love they had achieved.
Why We Cheat? After a long time spent in one relationship, people often need to re-confirm that they “are worth”. And adventures are sometimes just a “confirmation” they need. The cheating links first of all point to poor communication and a longer lasting crisis in relation between two people.
Who is More Inclined to Forgive: Men or Women? There are researches that tell us that women’s willingness to forgive first. Reasons they mentioned were mostly children, material security and fear of uncertainty. Men are more reluctant to forgive because of their injured ego and endangered pride.
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