Skip to Content

How to Approach a Woman In a Club?

How to approach a woman and start a conversation is a problem for many men. Approaching the girl can be stressful and can totally shake you. The problem arises when the potential target (girl) is selected and the guy needs to make a concrete step to start a conversation. We believe you probably ask yourself this question many times, so I researched how to improve that and what are the best solutions for this problem.

How to Approach a Woman In a Club? Before approaching a woman in a Club you need to have Self-confidence and courage, but it will not help you a bit unless you have some Pick Up lines ready before you approach a girl. Men who have experience with approaching girls have at least 2-3 ready Pick Up lines to start the conversation.

Most important to understand when approaching a girl is that it is a skill like any other and it can be learned and trained. You need to focus on developing your skills rather than getting to know a new girlfriend. Think of social dynamics as if you are learning a new computer game.

A trained men can anticipate and have a prepared answer for any common social challenge. He is experimenting with the entire spectrum of different responses. He found an efficient response, tested it in the field (Club) and mastered it. So when a challenge arises, the answer comes naturally , automatically carried out by an unconscious mind. Just as every behavior that is trained becomes automatic. Also remember that you should not buy women a drink right after you approach her. I wrote why this is so in an article called Should Guys Buy Women Drinks?

Best Way to Approach and Get a Girl’s Phone Number

To get a girl’s phone number you need to learn some steps. For seducing a girl in the club, you need to have  a tactic. Sounds weird? Ask yourself, in life whatever you  do, playing football, playing video games or  just planning a trip, you need to have a ready tactic to do it. So it is the same with winning a Women. There are 3 phases that you need to do.

Attract – Create Relaxation – Seduce

None of this is possible if there is no attraction among you. She will certainly not accept your efforts to create relaxation if there is no attraction among you. If you go too early to create relaxation, it will only make you less attractive to her.

Create Relaxation:
Once you approach the girl and make your opening, you need to create relaxation. The most important thing about this is that when you talk to a girl, you do NOT ask her questions, you only comment on things. By questioning her, you will only get her away from you because she will feel threatened. Comment things with her like “What would make for you a perfect day ?“.

This is the last and most important part you need to do properly to take her phone number. The point of this phase is that a woman need to feel like she knows you. Now comes the part how to get her phone number after talking with her for over an hour and everyone should go their own way. While you talk, you should say “It would be nice to talk with you again some other time,” and then if she agrees, ask her for phone number. Also, if you’ve talked about some great movie that is playing at cinema, say: “I’m going to the cinema on Thursday to watch this movie.It would be cool if you want to go with me. Let us exchange phone numbers.”

The most important thing of all this is: Good game is more important than taking a girls phone number. Good game leads to secure phone numbers. That means you’ll stay in her head and the day after and she will remember you.

What Kind of Pickup Lines Are There For Girls?

Picking Up With Compliment. It is when you are praising her with a bunch of compliments. In the case with pretty girls, you can use the look of a girl for compliment, and with girls who are not very attractive, it is a good thing to compliment some of the fashion detail that she wears (necklace, watches..).

Picking Up With Teasing. Type of approach that should pass with the girls who are set to reject all males, regardless of how they look or behave. In that case, this kind of „hard to get“ girl needs a little shake and toss her down. Teasing can be something like this: “your powder smeared all over your face”, “you have something in your hair”, “your dress is so weird”, etc.

Picking Up With a Woman’s Opinion. It is a great thing for beginners. It’s best to use it when you join a group of girls, but it can be also used when you reach only one. So, you approach them with a question that you need a answer (“what to buy for a birthday”, “what they think who lies more: Men or women”?), and in the background before you approach, it is good to have a story that will cover the question you set them up.

Picking Up With a  Situation Approach. This is approach for more experienced men in this field, and it is based on when you are in the field (disco,street..) and you need to figure out pick up line on the spot. So, you have to figure out a quick and efficient question, a story or something else and start having fun. Along with this situation, it is good to remember the successful pick up lines and apply them more often if they continue to fall on a girl.

How to Behave in the Club to Get a Girl?


• Do not buy her a drink : It is a general rule – but it does not always have to be so, do not offer yourself to pay girls a drink. If she asks you to pay her a drink, refuse. Although you may sometimes overcome this rule, it is desirable to hunt in such a way that she pay you a drink. 
• Do not hold a drink in front of your chest to give you self-confidence.  Keep it low in the hips level or even better, do not hold it at all. 
• Do not even try to look “cool” or “dangerous”. You will only act as if you are bored. Instead, be relaxed and companionable. 
• Smile while walking around the club. Men who have no success with women do not smile. 
• Usually you need 3 approaches to relax and get into the phase where you talk a lot with comfort. 
• Avoid loud parts of disco. If you can’t talk, you can’t start conversation with her.

Related Questions

How to talk to a Girl in a Nightclub? The first thing you need to do is to approach a girl which you like and start the conversation with a short statement where you need a opinion about something like “I was wondering and I needed a woman opinion about this. Who lies more: man or woman? “. After she answers the question, start another topic about movies, life, traveling etc. If you are in the night club where the music is very loud, try to win this girl by first creating a Eye contact and a gentle smile.

How to Pick up a Woman on a Dance Floor? The safest way to approach a girl on a dance floor is by establishing an Eye contact. This is the most surefire dance floor approach there is. When you establish a contact with a girl, and especially if she smiles, she’s thinking, “This guy is cute”.

Learn More

If you are interested in learning more about dating, then consider checking out this book about dating on Amazon.