We’ve all been single and wondered if we’d ever find someone. And at those moments, thoughts came to us how would it be to date your cousin. Having a feelings for your cousin is not horrible and it doesn’t make you weird, it’s actually pretty normal. However, relationships between cousins are kind of a gray area today for many reasons. So is having a feelings for your cousin a bad thing? What should you do if you fell in love with your cousin? I’ll give you an answer to this question.
Is it Normal to Have Feelings For Your Cousin? It’s normal to have feelings for people that you are around a lot. You also believe that feelings between you and that other person (your cousin) are mutual and you firmly believe that it is love? Unfortunately, what you feel is not love, but passion. In puberty strong emotions are quite normal thing.
If you have some feelings for your cousin, it’s okay. Remember that! First thing you need to do is to re-examine the love you feel to your cousin, brother or sister and not confused that with falling in love. If you want to analyze whether it is love, then there is one important test you need to go through and re-examine yourself, which is: Love is generous, does not envy, is not rude, does not seek its own, does not remember evil, and rejoices in the truth; Everything covers, everyone believes, everything is hoping, everything suffers. Love never stops. It is evident that love is not just feeling and emotion. Love encompasses all segments of our being, including our mind. If you’ve fallen in love with your cousin, then you will want to help him to happily experience his life. Then you will think about the consequences of the relationship you have started, because there is also the question about future generations that can be overwhelmed by your guilt and choice. Love always thinks about the good of the other. Therefore, if you use common sense in your decision, you will realize that there is already someone else in your life that will make you happy.
What to Do If You Have Feelings For Your Cousin?
Having a feelings for your cousin is not horrible and it doesn’t make you weird, it’s actually pretty normal. But what to do if you notice that you have them? The steps are the following:
1. You have to consider how old were you when you started to have those feelings for your cousin? One of the reasons is that this actually could have a lot to do with developing your crush. Because in puberty strong emotions are quite normal thing, and we develop them according to the person with whom we are most often in contact.
2. Second thing we need to understand is that these feelings might not be love but passion. All this we mentioned that what you might feel is passion and not love for your cousin and that they are your dream boyfriend or girlfriend, but it is all linked to hormone changes that you are going through. Therefore, you must have that in you subconscious.
3. The best way to get over someone is to find someone else. It can actually help you to move on and won’t cause you to have any emotions toward your cousin. You might have to grieve for your crush and even give yourself time to get over it, which is normal and sooner you find someone else that isn’t related to you, the better.
4. Give yourself time to get over the crush that you have, and take as much time as you want. Another good thing is while you’re grieving and trying to sort out your feelings, is that you can also take this time to focus on yourself. My advice is to surround yourself with friends who will help you pass through all of this and make the process a little easier.
How To Recognize Whether These Feelings Are Love or Passing Infatuation
Your feelings are not abnormal, but this is a situation where you need to use your head. Sometimes we hear phrases like “Love is blind” or “I’m crazy in love”. So how to recognize true love? Although true love usually is followed by strong emotions, love can’t be identified with the feeling of floating on the clouds. The relationship will not last long if it is based only on feelings. The fact is that knowledge is the foundation of a healthy relationship. It’s a key to knowing a partner. It is important to know the personality and character of the person.
It’s a good idea to make a list of the character traits which you like in person you’re in love with. If the list is long, then you know a lot about that person and you like his/her features. If the list is short, then you do not know much about that person or you know a lot, but you do not like his/her features. Another important factor in relationship is the common life goals. So you have to ask yourself, can you have common life goals with your cousin? One of the safest signs that tells us we found the right person is when we stop thinking about between what we can get from the other side. But thinking about the future of us and our children we see that this is not a good idea in the end. Topic about “What if you fall in love with a cousin” you can read HERE.
To help you understand things about love and life, this is a book I definitely recommend: 12 Rules For Life
Are Those Feelings Lead Us to Forbidden Love?
Falling in love and love are great – when they do not bring you too much trouble. One of the possible problems is to fall in love with the wrong person. Differences in culture may be a little bit more difficult to accept for family and close relatives, but there is nothing wrong with such love. It is quite another story when you fall in love with your close relatives or even your brother or sister – and that love is also happening. It is not even an extremely rare case to fall in love with a close relative, brother or sister, especially not when you are very young. Strong emotions are quite normal in puberty. A very strong feeling of love is also a quite normal occurrence – usually such a strong love falls for puberty for the first time. Then it may happen that the love you feel quite normal to your cousin, your brother or your sister is confused with the affection. My advice is that you don’t beat yourself up for having a crush on your cousin but don’t encourage these feelings either.
Is Marrying Your Cousin Actually Dangerous?
Can you marry a cousin? We all have heard stories about genetic defects being passed down through marriages between cousins, but how accurate they are? Also, do babies born between two cousins actually have a higher chance of having birth defects? First of all, today marrying your first cousin is illegal in 24 US states, UK and in a number of countries around the world. So to see how dangerous it is to marry your first cousin, we need to calculate the chances that two first cousins both carry a copy of the same genetic disease. Scientists have crunched the numbers and it turns out the risk that the cousins have a kid who inherits a genetic disease is 4-7%. but for the general population, it’s 3-4%. So you think, not a big deal right? But actually there is the catch: That’s the odds for one genetic disease, and there are thousands that could be hiding in your family tree. But that’s not all, if your kids also marry their first cousins and their kids marry their first cousins it’s a recipe for disaster. I think I said enough why this is dangerous.
The bottom line and conclusion is that having the feelings for your cousin is perfectly normal but acting on it is not the wisest decision. However, you must be aware! If you decide to proceed with this relationship, you need to be ready to handle awkward questions and deal with judgment from people, it is inevitable. Just imagine if you do decide to date and after a while you break up. She’s still your cousin and you can’t really get away from her. In that case it could cause tons of problems in your family and you still know you can’t legally marry that person. One article can’t change or tell you how to behave, but it would be good to be aware of how much the relationship with such a person would be problematic, how much negative reactions and condemnations would have come across, and if that connection persisted, you would not be able to to get married, and it would be extremely risky for you to have children, no matter how much you love the other person. Also a similar topic “What if you fall in love with your cousin”, which I explained in a slightly different way, you can read HERE. If you have your own experiences or if I missed something, feel free to comment below.
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