None of us is born with the natural ability to do relationships well. A lot of today’s marriages end with divorce, even according to statistics over 50% of them. Is it also shame today to ask someone for advice or ask someone else for help for your personal problems? I will try to give you the best possible answer I have found.
Why You Need A Marriage Mentor? Marriage is a learned skill that must be taught by those who have weathered the storms of life. From how to properly apologize when you don’t feel like you’ve done anything wrong, finding a marriage mentor could be the exact resource your marriage needs to get past the areas you are stuck on.
The main enemy of marriage is individualism. First of all, one of our major mistakes is that we put ourselves in the first place, to us it is important how we feel. Marriages fail because we expect one thing, and we get another. Many instead of flourishing in marriage, they give up. The other enemy in marriage is our parents, because marriages are breaking down for a third person. It is very dangerous also to marry with the youthful spirit, so your house becomes a station, and you always have a guest in the house. Husband and wife rather should have their moments alone and talk about it. Sometimes we do not have all the answers to our problems, so we need a mentor who will guide us or lead us to the right path.
What is a Marriage Mentor?
In Almost everything in life you need a mentor, so even for a marriage. Did you know that almost 50% of today’s couples who got married, end with divorce? That is why Marriage Mentor is more necessary today than ever before. Marriage mentoring is also about helping other married couples with their problems and sometimes point them to the right path. It requires most of all a willingness to help. You can say Marriage mentoring isn’t professional counseling or any therapy and shouldn’t be used as a substitute for them. Also Marriage mentoring is a great way to help keep yourself in check. As you mentor others, you’ll be challenged to mature in your faith and live to a higher standard.
What Qualifies You to Be a Marriage Mentor?
It’s gonna take some time and emotional energy for you to decide to spend time with another couple and come along with them. Marriage Mentor don’t need to have a perfect marriage because there is no perfect marriage, but it is important that you have a healthy marriage and you have commitment to your marriage with attitude that say: “I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life. ” You demonstrate that and other people in your life will look at your marriage and say: “Those guys work very hard and they have very good marriage”.
That other quality you need is to have time in your schedule and desire to come and help another couple. If that really is not your love and your busy already and this will be only one more thing on your list, you may not be qualify to be a Marriage Mentor (at least at this time), because it requires time and love. Qualifications for marriage mentor are:
1) Are you choosing love in your own marriage?
This is the first basic marriage principle that we talked about. Ideal love is just making choices, so it isn’t just about feelings. So if you decide to be a marriage mentor it will be important that you demonstrate the heart and attitude about love in your own marriage. That you are committed to your marriage. When things are NOT going as well as you hope, you will be determined to do what ever it takes to make your marriage work. On your wedding day when you said “I will not give up on you, I will not give up on our marriage”. And if you can’t confidently said that about love and commitment then you are not ready yet to be marriage mentor.
2) Are you earning trust in your own marriage?
Again this is second marriage principle. The trust always must be earned in marriage. You have to give a lot of trust in your relationship to work, and you need even more trust for a marriage. There must be no secrets, sins in your life. Therefore you must establish trust in your marriage. And if you can’t said that about trust in your marriage then you can’t be a marriage mentor.
3) Do you keep talking in your own marriage ?
Communication is above all the heart and soul of any healthy relationship. It is all about talking. Communication must be a central piece in your own relationship. You also need to value communication. You value procepture and work together specialy in times of conflict and learn and grow in marriage. Also, you don’t have unensolt issues in your marriage. You can’t talk if you don’t have it in your own life. Thing you must understand is also what are you talking and advicing your couples. Do not expect that Marriage is a natural talent.
3 Qualities of a Marriage Mentor
Marriage is certainly not an innate talent. None of us is born with the natural ability to do relationships well. Marriage is a learned skill and above all it must be taught by those who have weathered the storms of life. From how to properly apologize when you don’t feel like you’ve done anything wrong, finding a marriage mentor could be the exact thing your marriage needs to get past the areas you are stuck on. First steep that you need is to find a mentor.
1. THEY HAVE A MARRIAGE YOU RESPECT
You need to find a person who has the following features. Mentor couples go on date nights, enjoy each other, apologize when they’ve messed up, forgive each other daily, and have the kind of marriage you want. You can not find that in someone who has the same or similar problems in marriage as you.
2. THEY’RE WILLING TO BE VULNERABLE
One of the main characteristics certainly is that our mentor couple holds nothing back in sharing with us their struggles and heartaches in every area of their marriage. In their transparency, we see ourselves in their story and find hope knowing they made it through.
3. THEY ARE READY TO BE WITH YOU ANYTIME
Knowing that our marriage is being prayed over by another couple is so comforting. This couple also knows our struggles and is joining us in praying for protection, wisdom, and courage. We live in strange times where love is confusing, relationships seem complicated, and marriage itself is questioned as even being relevant today. If there’s ever been a time for married couples to surround themselves with other married couples to encourage them in their journey, certainly it is now.
Can any Problem in Marriage be Resolved? Yes, every problem has a solution. Of course there are smaller and bigger problems in life and in marriage, but love is a sacrifice and forgiveness. If you are not ready to forgive in marriage no matter how big a problem is, the question is when your marriage will come to an end.
How Common are Marriage Problems? Problems in marriage can be very common, but it depends on couples. Some marriages have more problems, some less, but every marriage encounter some problems sooner or later. Therefore you need to be thoroughly understood by your partner.
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