Ending the relationship is dramatic episode in everyone’s life, but science claims that there are ways to make it easier to overcome. We will go through the main reasons and explain how to deal with the breakups.
Being in love involves the same kind of neurological stimulus as cocaine addiction. “Falling in love is very similar to addiction. You have that urge for a dose of stimulus, but in the form of being next to someone you care about. “So, is my breakup from relationship actually a cocaine removal? We have the notion that ending relationship is the easy thing, that is not such a problem. Although emotionally it can be a big burden, and emotional breakups may be depression shots that you should not experience easily. The phrase ‘broken heart’ is not absurd. Breaking can really endanger health. It was proven that with this 7 steps is easier to overcome and accept end of the relationship.
How to do everything to overcome this Miserable State
After the breakup of long-term relationship, I felt mentally sick, exhausted and devastated. In the toughest moments of overcoming, I felt great anger – against my ex, myself, and all that stupid situations. How did she just not dare to fight harder for our relationship? How was something so beautiful and promising as our relationship could have ended so wretchedly? What really happened? I lost a girl, a friend and a partner, but I still did not lose myself.
That is why I have decided to do all I can to overcome this miserable state of self-pity from drastic change of my self, to hanging out with old friends, exercise, job and other things. Here is a list of everything I’ve done, with a honest glimpse of how each of these attempts worked on me. Also, I wanted to know how my experiences are comparable to scientific facts that can help people to break through, so I asked psychologists to give their feedback on my healing list.
1) I accepted Every Invitation to Socialize
The Efficiency 9/10
In the first few weeks after the break, I promised myself that I would not lock my self in the apartment and that I would accept every invitation to socialise. That was the best decision which I have brought. I bought new swimwear and went with my friends on the beach/pool. There was no party that I was not in. I felt freedom on the dance floor. Night outs really gave me a feeling of liberation. I danced everywhere, from the club stages to the tops of the buildings. I tried my most important fashion combinations. So I picked up dozens of numbers, and returned home exhausted and satisfied.
Bad Side:At the beginning of the breakup, accepting all these invitation calls for hanging out will not seem sincere. Especially because you’d rather withdrawn in the house with a blanket, Netflix and pizza. Get out, in spite of that. At times you will certainly feel guilty because you are enjoying the atmosphere, and you should feel sad, but that’s all part of the process. Like moments when you obsessively checking your phone, thinking confident that my ex girlfriend will sent me a sms instead of talking to hot girls around me.
Expert Opinions:They told me that my need to accept all these invitations for hanging out was guided by my need to preserve the vision of myself after the break. Dance was a confirmation of my independence. According to them, one of the things they found in their study is that when people really could agree with a statement like “I’ve felt a lot of parts with myself I could not experience with my partner,” that helped them to be less depressing. They helped them feel less lonely. Which predicts you will less and less be concentrated on breakup of relationship.
2) I Blocked My Ex on all Social Networks
The Efficiency 7/10
I’m constantly on Facebook and Instagram. I love twitter short sentences. Basically, I’m addicted to social networks. Immediately after my breakup, my virtual habit turned out to be poison. I was thrilled by the fact that I could show her my new life and happiness, but a small facebook status from my ex girlfriend and It can thrown me into little depression. The day she began to put pictures of herself with other men, I felt angry and released. So I blocked her on all channels. That was a very wise move. Not only because I no longer had to deal with potentially annoying photos from her side, but it stopped me also from posting pictures that show how exciting my life is, in case if she wanted to look at my profile also. My life is really exciting and brilliant, without having to put it on social networks.
Bad Side: Absolutely not having any information about your ex can be demanding. When you get used to sharing a day by day with somebody, such drastic interruptions to communication can be frightening. At the beginning it is difficult. But it helps in long distances.
Expert Opinions: When you post on your facebook glamorous photos as evidence of your exciting new life, experts call it ‘management of impressions’. Exactly the opposite,blocking the former is considered part of the ‘retreat process’ strategy. Both tactics serve to demonstrate that you can rely on yourself and in the toughest moments after the break.”
3) I maintained my body with healthy food and exercise
The efficiency 7/10
Markets on my weekend became my refuge. I ran stands with healthy food and it makes me happy to buy some broccoli, carrots, homemade cheese or fresh fish. I started exploring new recipes. Going home and knowing that I need to prepare meal and eat it all alone, that was a bit of a disappointment. Fortunately, my attempts to be good to my body did not stop just for food. I went to the yoga course. Exercising yoga has become a way to get better, feel better in my own skin and be more mentally present. It was about taking care of myself and curing myself after the emotional trauma I had experienced. It allowed me to admit that I suffer, and at the same time not exaggerate in that sadness. After yoga classes I felt powerful, calm and complete.
I went to the gym. The amount of my suppressed energy, sometimes needed something more than the yoga itself. My fitness exercises have been well advanced. Sometimes a gym would be replaced by long walks. Sometimes there were times when I could not get my self to the gym.I would cross over that. The relationship breakouts are heavy. Sometimes you really need to stay home, take your laptop, and look at the bunch of good movies as you eat ordered Chinese food. My progress was slow. But I discovered that I was pleased with the fact that I enjoyed my body on the move. I saw progress.
Bad Side:If you choose to use food as a tool of broken relationship, do it with your friend. During breakup,you will have frequent attacks to reach the tone of the candy and junk food to make it easier. Do not do it. Your body already carries on with the tremendous emotional burden you are experiencing and you do not want to make it even harder. And as for exercise, do not be hard on yourself. You do not have to sweat every day. There will be times when you will not be able to push yourself to gym and you feel like the most laziest person in the world, and as a person you will not be attracted to anybody. It’s transient. Forgive yourself, give yourself a break.Immerse yourself in a scented bath, walk through the embankment, be gentle to yourself.
Expert Opinions:Experts have said that it is extremely important to create a healthy physical rhythm after a breakup. Breakouts know how to disrupt our daily routine.”In our bustling emotion and chaos that we are experiencing, it is extremely important to have regular meals and enough sleep. And, it is crucial to make a new exercise schedule that will ease solitude and sorrow.”
4) I got in Touch With Old Friends
The Efficiency 7/10 (most important)
My best friends and I live in a fast-paced life, sometimes a weeks know to pass and we do not see each other. I admit, while I was in relationship, I could ignore my friends while I was enjoying with her. After the breakup, I realized that my friends were all this time with me. There is nothing more relaxing than sitting on the couch of my best friend with a glass of wine in my hand. The very fact that you can open yourself to someone is enormous support. My friends, reminded me of times when it was not all that difficult. One of them went with me for long walks where we came to the inspirational conclusions of life. The other friend reminded me of how I used to love hiking and going out in the woods. The joy of life was returned by my friends.
Bad Side:If you go through to the end of your relationship and your best friends live faraway from you, rely on Skype or Facebook. Phone calls. Make sure you hear them and pick up some advice. It is not the same as live encounters, but it also treats the soul. During the breakup, we are focused only on our pain, but we must not forget that our friends also have their responsibilities and problems.When they are not available, we have to remember that this is not because they do not want to help you but they simply have to also have time for themselves.
Expert Opinions: Experts say that breakups upset what psychologists call our “connectivity system”. In the same way a child relies on their mother and looks for comfort, adults have the need to deeper connect with another person. During our childhood, our greatest emotional connection is our parents, grandparents or the nearest caregivers. In adolescence, this emotional link becomes our closest friends, and in adulthood, we get the deepest emotional link with our partner. Experts ask the question of what happens after the breakup when we can no longer rely on our partner as the primary support, and gives the answer to that question. What is happening to most people is that this emotional link is shifted to my closest people from the early stages of life. Someone looks for this emotional link at their own friends, someone in their parents, and someone with a former lover. “
5) Drastic Change of Transforming Myself
The Efficiency 6/10
I went through the impulsive phase “I have to change everything” after breakup with my ex-partner. I decided to change the hairstyle, dress style and a bit of character I got with experience. The new look has brought me back new self-confidence. My ex-girl loved my long hair. The fact that I cut it off symbolised my new life.
Bad Side:For the first 30 seconds after I looked into the mirror I needed to accept my new look, dress style and character. It only took 30 seconds.
Expert Opinions: This impulse falls in the context of evolutionary biology and the search for identity. “Everyone knows you’re recently got out of the relationship. It is absolutely reasonable for you to be appealing again to someone. And, it is commendable fact that you have reached for your new, powerful identity. “
6) I Installed Tinder and Started to Date – Without Obligation
The Efficiency 4/10
This was the most terrible part of my breakup revolution. I knew I needed some time for myself, time without a serious partner. I’m not the type who comes from a relationship in the relationship. But I needed to come back to life. In the end, the fact that I go out with other people is the ultimate confirmation that I went further. The simplest way was to install Tinder application. At first I felt bad, mixed up with the feelings and feeling I were giving false hope to potential new girls. But after a few weeks I met some cool people. With some of them I was on coffee, with some at lunch, and with some I’ve been hanging out. Their society reminded me of being smart, charming and desirable.
Bad Side:At times I felt guilty, at moments confused, at moments insecure in myself. You can feel like you are using other people to get over someone. That is why you may feel sometimes unfair to them. Dating after the breakup, especially very fast after the breakup, is not for everyone. Having sex with someone new after the breakup, is also not for everyone. It is important to listen to your body and your instincts.
Expert Opinions: Experts argues that dating after breakup is a good idea because it will almost guarantee to bring one of the following two options: you will realise that there are many fish in the sea that will help you to overcome the former partner; or it will inspire you to remember all the good sides of the former relationship that can make you decide that you are given another opportunity.
7) I Devoted Myself to my Job and Career
The Efficiency 10/10
Breakup had hurt my heart but helped me to strengthen my professional goals. After breakup, I applied to several interesting new jobs. Two of them were offered to me. The fact that I do not have to respect the needs and aspirations of another person in my life and that I can absolutely devote to what I want professionally has given me a healthy feeling of love for myself. It also strengthened my enthusiasm and fed my ambition. I accepted a new job and continued my further education. Quite pleased with myself, I concluded that you should never underestimate a man in love.
Bad Side: There are no bad sides here!
Expert Opinions: “Breakups totally put us out of control. Our professional achievement is extremely important in those times, because not only it will raise our level of self-confidence but it will make us feel better.
If you are interested in learning more about dating, then consider checking out this book about dating on Amazon.